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How exactly does one prepare to breastfeed or chestfeed?  Shouldn’t it just be natural?

Do you feel ready to breastfeed? Did you know there are things you can do BEFORE baby is born that will help you be more prepared?

First, what have you heard about breastfeeding / chestfeeding?  Is it natural, healthy, convenient and free?   Sure, Public health flyers will remind you all about that.  But what about painful, exhausting, hard and stressful?  You don’t see that on any posters, but that’s what many expectant parents hear from their friends! 

Well, which is it?  Is it a calm, enjoyable bonding experience or a gauntlet of pumps, cracked nipples and babies with excess weight loss?

Honest answer?  It can be both.

It is very common to have at least a few struggles with breastfeeding, especially in the first week.

Whether it’s a painful latch, a sleepy baby, constant crying or someone telling you that baby isn’t getting enough milk.  There are lots of challenges you might encounter, because most of us didn’t grow up in a village where everyone was topless and sat around a fire feeding their babies all day.  If we had, more of us would find breastfeeding/chestfeeding natural, instinctive and easy. But for many, it’s not.  

Feeding your newborn is something you need practice, information, support, and time to get good at.  Also, there are some great tricks that can make a big difference if you know about them ahead of time, so you can know what to expect and what to try before any trouble starts!

Learning about breastfeeding BEFORE your baby is born, is actually very helpful, although there’s nothing like the real thing when it comes to actually practicing latch, and holding a real-live baby!  Knowing what is normal (like REALLY frequent feeding so baby can tell your body how much milk to make) and what it’s supposed to feel like (it’t NOT supposed to hurt!) are really good to know ahead of time.  Trying to Google “what is clusterfeeding” or “How to breastfeed a sleepy baby” after 30 hours labour is not as much fun as you might think!

Seriously, SO MANY issues that people have with breastfeeding stem from not knowing what to expect, how to prevent nipple pain, and what to do if baby is not latching, is too sleepy to feed well, or when baby is losing too much weight… learning all the ins and outs ahead of time can prevent may of these issues!

Here are some of my TOP TIPS to get you started….

1. Learn about Hand Expression 

If there is ANY reason a baby is having trouble breastfeeding in the first few days after birth, hand express your colostrum every 2-3 hours for 10-15 minutes.  You might only get a few drops but it signals your body that you’re still ‘IN’ for becoming a breastfeeder and that you would like to request a great milk supply even if baby isn’t feeding well right now.  

We can figure a lot of things out later on about a deep latch, nipple comfort, sleepy baby and excess weight loss if your body is reminded to continue making milk.

2. Spoons are made for babies too!

If your baby isn’t able to get colostrum out of your breast the ‘usual’ way because he’s tongue-tied, sleepy, it hurts you or he just won’t latch, then use a spoon!  

First, read #1 …..  Now hand express right into a spoon & give it to the baby! Spoons are easy to use, hold small amounts (which is usually all newborns need anyway….seriously!) and you can express your thick colostrum right into it so you don’t lose your 3 precious drops in the pump valve thingy!

3. Take off your shirt and hold your naked baby!

This one seems simple and obvious once you learn about how much ‘skin-to-skin holding’ can improve breastfeeding outcomes.  Most parents however, think they’re supposed to immediately put their new baby in all the cute outfits and hats they’ve had washed and waiting for this moment. I don’t blame you, that outfit IS super cute, BUT if your baby is having trouble waking up, calming down, latching, or is cold, I promise that the science here is right.  Your chest is the place to be.  Put your feet up, get comfy and hold your baby.  

4. Keep trying, and get help.
Ask for help, ask for more help, then if you still need help, find different help. (Yes, I do LIVE private virtual sessions ANYWHERE!)

5. We recommend that all our pregnant clients take this on-demand, online Breastfeeding Prep class :

“How to Breastfeed” from our Virtual Academy! 

(use code NUTMEGMOM50 any time to get 50% off!!)

This Breastfeeding Prep course will teach you

* how to sit * how to hold * how to latch * how to know if baby is getting enough milk… and what to do if they aren’t * what to expect in the first few days * how to avoid nipple pain * how to get a great milk supply * what to do with a sleepy baby * what to do if baby won’t latch

…. and how to get breastfeeding off to a great start!!

Breastfeeding takes practice.  Learning about what to expect in REAL life can make a big difference in your confidence.  The sooner you find help the better, but even if things aren’t perfect right from the start, try these things and reach out! Your breastfeeding career really can continue almost always with the right information, if you are a bit stubborn, and just a little bit lucky.

Angela Grant Buechner, BA, BScN, RN, IBCLC is a Registered Nurse • Lactation Consultant • Birth Doula • Postpartum Doula • Newborn Care Specialist • Educator in Toronto offering LIVE virtual support sessions worldwide!

The post Preparing to breastfeed? 5 tips to avoid problems! appeared first on Nutmeg Consulting.

Now your baby is three months old and wait….WHAT IS HAPPENING!!?

Breastfeeding concerns are really common at three months because a few new things can happen all at once, and it can really freak parents out!  If you have had a sufficient milk supply, baby has been gaining well up to this point, and you have been only been breastfeeding, then these changes can be totally normal, and here’s why!

This is the age that babies can completely change their ‘usual’ feeding behaviour in a few different ways:

1. They can become distracted at the breast.

Your perfect, calm little baby that could nurse in the middle of a concert until now, will suddenly start popping off during feeds to look towards any sound! If someone even tries to talk to you while you’re breastfeeding, baby will unlatch and stare… as you drip or spray milk all over baby and yourself. The trouble with daytime distraction, is that babies will usually start needing to nurse more often at night to make up for it. This phase hopefully lasts for just a little while and they eventually stop caring about every little noise, but it can be totally normal and necessary when this ‘reverse cycling’ happens.

2. At the same time, babies around three months can suddenly become really efficient nursers.

Feeds that once took 40 minutes to happen in the early days, can now become really short! Some babies can seriously nurse for just a few minutes, and they can still get enough! If your baby’s weight gain has been good with breastfeeding alone (we’re looking for an average 1-2 pounds weight gain per month at this stage) then its ok to continue to feed on demand, and just feed for those few minutes and follow her lead!

3. Another fun thing they switch up at the same time is that they change all their feeding cues!

You were cruising along, nursing your baby whenever she ‘asked’ for it, and now your baby starts refusing the breast!! This can be very confusing for parents…..but wait, your baby has her hand in her mouth, so she must be hungry, right? At three months, the answer might be NO! The hunger cues or signals (like hands in the mouth) suddenly can mean something completely different… Now when your baby jams a fist in her face, it just means that she has found something new to play with and chew on, and doesn’t always mean hunger anymore. Often, parents are offering the breast and trying harder and harder to nurse, while baby is trying harder and harder to refuse.   Although this can seem bizarre, it can be a normal phase.  At this age (if you have been exclusively breastfeeding and all is well) then you are ok to just follow baby’s lead, and let them say no!

4. Simultaneously, they can now want to breastfeed less often too.

If your baby wants to nurse less often then YOU think they should, and you continue to offer them the breast as usual (based on timing or the ‘old’ cues), the refusal may just be their way saying “no thanks”. Parents can get frustrated or scared when baby is pushing the breast away, arching their back and getting upset at the breast, because they think baby is on a nursing strike or isn’t feeding enough. Babies can get frustrated when we try to force them on the breast at this point, because they just don’t want to eat right now! Try to remember that it’s ok to trust your baby at this age (not so much with a sleepy one week old)…because at 3-4 months, they can reliably tell you when they’re hungry, but also when they’re not.

If you have had a sufficient milk supply, baby has been gaining well, and you’ve been breastfeeding, then this is totally normal stuff.  If you have been offering bottles more and more often, then it may be a good idea to chat with an IBCLC in case the fast flow is getting baby a bit frustrated at breast….. or milk supply has been affected.

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                            Will any of my pre-pregnancy work clothes ever fit the same?

                            Will making a decision about daycare/nanny/part time/full time/gradual start/home daycare be easy?

                            Do I have to stop breastfeeding if I’m going back to work?

answer to all of the above? NO. One of the most common questions I get is how to prepare for going back to work if you’re breastfeeding. If you’re lucky and live in Canada (and can live off Maternity leave for a year) then you may have a very different experience than most parents living south of us in the United States who have to return within weeks of their birth.

Although we can feel lucky that we have a whole year to be with our babies, and get a chance to establish breastfeeding in the early weeks and months, we also go through very different phases and many babies have never had a need to drink their breastmilk in any other way then straight from the tap.

Many people think that it’s expected that they will just stop at a year because they’re going back to work (and we’ll talk about how to approach that if it’s your choice) but MANY parents decide to continue breastfeeding once or twice per day or more, even if they are going back to work full time.

Breastfeeding an older baby is very different than breastfeeding a newborn. Often, many day-to-day things are intertwined with breastfeeding, including nap time, meal time, the need for magical nursing sessions to cure any problem/injury/injustice and even just chilling out and snuggling. Many moms don’t know that they can absolutely continue to breastfeed, even if they also want to make sure that baby can drink from a bottle/cup/straw so they can go to daycare, still have naps and have a way to get liquids when their usual source is at work.

1. FIGURE OUT YOUR PERFECT PLAN

What would your perfect scenario be for nursing/pumping/bottle/cup/weaning be?

There are many ways to continue breastfeeding even if you are going back to work full time. Many people breastfeed just first thing in the morning, right when they pick up baby or get home, or at bedtime. Some babies will nurse once overnight or early morning instead, and some will do any combination of these. Whatever works, what do YOU want to do?

2. DON’T PANIC!

Many breastfeeders think that they have to plan for MONTHS ahead of time for their return to work at a year, but many people need almost no drastic changes ahead of time. I usually say about 4-6 weeks is enough time for most plans, even if you want to drastically reduce the number of nursing sessions that you do per day.

Many people just continue to nurse as usual right up until the first day of daycare/return to work, and they may just have had their baby practice with a cup/bottle ahead of time so they know that their baby can take liquids in another way. Recommendations say that a child at a year doesn’t necessarily need replacement ‘MILK’ (pumped/cow/ formula etc) as long as they are breastfeeding two or more times per day. Water and food can be enough during the day, and baby can nurse and make up for it when you’re together again….. get ready to be tackled!!

3. BE READY TO PUMP OR EXPRESS IF NEEDED.

Sometimes moms are told that if they pump they will increase their milk supply (which can be helpful if needed see blog HERE. )…. If you are stopping, reducing or skipping a feed, then your body is still expecting that you will need that feed as usual and the milk will be ready. If you skip the feed then you may become very full and uncomfortable. Pumping or hand expressing just a little bit (not to empty the breast as much as usual) can be helpful and necessary to prevent painful engorgement and even mastitis. You’d still be removing less milk than usual, so you would still technically be weaning.

If you want to maintain your milk supply, or collect and provide expressed breastmilk for baby while you’re away, then you may want to pump once or twice for 10-15 minutes, and collect as much as you can. More pumping advice HERE.

4. TEACH BABY ANOTHER WAY TO FALL ASLEEP

If you nurse your baby to sleep, it can be very helpful to give them a chance to ALSO learn another way of falling asleep. I never stopped nursing to sleep whenever I was home, at bedtime or on weekends, but I made sure that during the few weeks before my return to work, my babes were able to practice being rocked, walked in a baby carrier, back rubbed etc to sleep.

If possible, ask your daycare provider what they are able to do for nap time, and what the usual routine is. Will they be willing to provide individual care? Rocking babies etc? Then have another member of your family give it a try a few times. At around 1 year, most babies are able to figure out that when mom is here they get to breastfeed, but when dad/partner/nana/friend/caregiver is here, I get the other way.

5. KNOW THAT IT WILL GET BETTER WITH TIME….

Everyone needs time to learn a new thing, practice a new way, and get used to a big change. Just like we can feel sad or nervous, babies will still have big feelings and nursing when we are with them can be a wonderful way to re-connect. Research shows that nursing even a couple of times per day can be very helpful for reducing illness during the transition to a new daycare situation, so it can really be worth it to keep it going if possible. Your body and your baby will adjust to the new routine.

If you need more help setting up a plan or want to discuss all the options for you and your situation, feel free to reach out for a chat, or schedule a ‘Return to Work’ consult with us.  We’d love to help!

http://www.nutmegconsulting.ca

The post Returning to Work AND Breastfeeding? It can be done! appeared first on Nutmeg Consulting.

After attending a lovely, powerful woman giving birth yesterday as a Birth Doula (I’m also a Registered Nurse & Lactation Consultant) and therefore missing the first day of summer break with my kids, I thought I could come up with something fun to do to for Canada’s 150 celebration.

The basic plan was to go to see some amazing fireworks tonight. We’re not huge fans of crowds, and I strongly believe that letting a 3 year old stay up to 11 pm is almost never a good idea, so we were going to enjoy them from the comfy top floor balcony of my in-laws home.

With an entire day in front of us, we decided to think small, and go to the Port Credit Canada Day parade….. We drove 10 minutes to the Mimico train station and took the GO train just 2 stops “because trains are fun” (so at least one of our kids would like the ride) and we could skip the crammed parking lots near the parade.

[/cs_text][x_custom_headline level=”h2″ looks_like=”h3″ accent=”false” style=”color: hsl(177, 46%, 53%);”] After making it 90% of the way to our station, our train suddenly stopped. Within minutes we were told that we had made an emergency stop, and that they were trying to gather details.

Quite quickly we were told that that there was an “incident” involving a trespasser and that wouldn’t be moving any time soon. We settled in and checked the stash of snacks, but nobody panicked. Unfortunately, we soon found out that the incident was serious enough that the train had technically become a crime scene involving a train and the ‘trespasser’ and therefore were unable to leave and we would probably be there for about 3 hours.

Ugh. Right away we told our older 2 kids (aged 12 & 9) that there had been a serious accident and that we weren’t going to complain because no matter what, someone else was having the worst day of their lives (I kept thinking that everyone has a mother and I’m so sorry for them)…and that this was just an inconvenience to us.

We happened to be on the busiest car of the train so there had been chatter and joking about how we could make a human chain to escape into a nearby backyard, or how we could have Pizza delivered if it came to that, but we were patient…we just waited.

After a while of sitting, talking and an exhaustive iSpy game (there’s only so much for a 3 year old to spy from an unmoving train) I whispered to my 9 year old that I had an idea for a Canada day project. I suggested that we should take this opportunity to meet some new people because that’s what Canada is all about, and she quickly jumped on the idea. Within minutes she had started her first ‘interview’ and was meeting people on our train car and asking what their plans had been (before being stuck here for the day), where they were born, and what they loved most about Canada.

The response was awesome.

We met a new friend who had also been on his way to the parade, and although he was born in Canada he actually grew up in Ethiopia and had lots of stories to tell. My daughter talked his ear off and he graciously told her all about their New Year celebrations (in September!) and why he decided to move back to Canada 1 year ago. He told us he was supposed to meet up with his Robotics team, so they talked about building stuff, and also how the drivers are apparently better in Canada, and that people are just so nice here.

Next was Wendy, who was born in China and moved here when she was just 22 (only a few years ago). Her favourite thing back home was spring festival because her favourite memory of home was all the amazing food, and that was the best part of the festival. School in China was VERY different than what she hears about school here, and she said that everyone is so nice in Canada… she even said that “talking to a stranger on a train would never happen in China, that would be weird”… I explained that it is still a bit odd here to be honest, but we all joked that we were here anyway and she kept chatting along…

We met a family with kids, and the mother and I shared an interest in helping new mothers and that she runs a mom’s group in the area… we even shared contact info! We also met a young couple heading to Niagara Falls for the day. The mom in me quickly found out that they hadn’t eaten breakfast, and we gave them apples, while the next family over gave them granola bars…

By the time we were cleared by police and the train was able to move, we had been on the train for three and a half hours…

There had been a show or two watched on the cell phone with the most battery, a mile or more had been walked up and down the train cars (they have cool new automatic doors now), and we had met a train car worth of other Canadians who were friendly, open, and just trying to make the best of a bad situation.

As the train finally pulled into the station (we all had to get off) we all clapped and said goodbye, wished each other good luck and Happy Canada Day. … and you know, it really was. I know that Canada isn’t perfect. I also know that there’s no where else I’d rather live. I like what we’re trying to become, and I like what we stand for.

We finished the day with “daytime Sparklers” and the girls still went with Dad to watch the fireworks. The youngest was tucked into bed by 7pm (phew!) and I got caught up with work, organizing with new moms all around the city who were having visits from our Postpartum Doulas tonight!

I really do love Canada.
Happy Canada Day!

The post I was stuck on a stopped train for over 3 hours on Canada Day, and it made me love Canada even more. appeared first on Nutmeg Consulting.

As Mother’s Day quickly approaches, I start to hear story after story from moms of young children that are usually left feeling disappointed and resentful on this special day! They say that their partners either don’t remember, or don’t do anything to help their young children make or do anything to celebrate their Mom. They feel torn between relaxing and resting, and having to go and celebrate their own mother’s and mothers-in-law (that’s a whole separate discussion) and they are left feeling forgotten, resentful and worse than if it was just another day… So what can we do to make sure we have a great Mother’s Day?

I realized a few years ago, that I always had a very clear wish list in mind for how I wanted Mother’s Day to go. I’m sure everyone has a different vision for what would make them feel special, but for me as a mother of 3, all I wanted was 3 things:

1. To sleep in for a whole extra hour (bringing me to an amazing wake up time of 8 am!)
2. Some breakfast in bed that wasn’t cereal (if the kids helped and felt proud and happy, even better!)
3. To go somewhere later that day either by myself (pedicure or massage perhaps?) or with the older two kids so I could actually sit motionless and enjoy myself (think ‘high tea’ ..because I really like scones, or a movie)

Of course I also love the cute cards or crafts that are usually taken care of by the awesome Nursery School, Daycare or school teachers… (they’re always looking out for us Moms!)… so that was something lovely that always happened for me, but if not, maybe that’s on your list. If you have a baby, you might want to buy the supplies to do a special hand print or memento of your first Mother’s Day…. you can’t get that one back. So send a pic to your partner if necessary of what you want ‘baby’ to make for you.

You may also feel like you have to make an appearance to see your OWN Mother, but you could try to explain your goal and do something with her the day before, or if that won’t fly, have an afternoon or evening event planned so at least you get most of the day for yourself and your own little family to enjoy.

What I wanted for Mother’s Day wasn’t rocket science. This didn’t take much planning or booking ahead or stress. I had 3 young kids so I was realistic and didn’t expect that I would be whisked away for a weekend at the spa (although that’s not a horrible idea for next year maybe…) I just felt that if those things happened I would feel special, appreciated and it was the picture of Mother’s Day that I always had in my head.

My kids were 10, 7 and 1 at the time of my revelation. I figured out that my husband really does suck at reading my mind. He would either do absolutely NOTHING with the kids ahead of time (unlike me who would at least make sure the kids made a picture or painted a rock for father’s day) or would plan something that was nice, but really NOT what I wanted to do for Mother’s day.

I once heard a Solo Mom say that she always had the BEST Mother’s Day because she wasn’t waiting around for someone else to plan it, so she just planned it herself!! She chose EXACTLY what she wanted to do, chose EXACTLY what she wanted to eat, and went EXACTLY where she wanted to go. It was AMAZING!!

I was inspired and decided that I would rather lose the romantic idea that my hubby would magically know exactly what I REALLY wanted for the perfect Mother’s Day (even with some pretty obvious hints!) and so…
….I just took charge, ‘facilitated the magic’ and made it happen!!

So here is what I did to make sure I had the BEST MOTHER’S DAY EVER….

1. First I just bought the stuff I wanted. Wow. That was easy. Shocker, I know, but I was actually in the grocery store earlier that week and since I wanted ‘So- Easy-Kids-Can-Make-It-French-Toast-Casserole’ and sausages, I bought the ingredients. Done. The day before Mother’s Day I told my husband that the kids are making this for me now, so help them. Here’s the recipe.
2. Right at bedtime the night before Mother’s day, I told my kids and my husband: Tomorrow is Mother’s Day so I am sleeping in. You do not get to wake me up before 8am. Since you will be putting the French Toast Casserole in the oven at 7am you will have something to do…. enjoy.
3. I booked the ‘High Tea’ (I actually ‘combo’ed that with a gift/outing with both my mother-in-law AND my step-mother… talk about multi-tasking) and got to sit and eat yummy things. Score. I didn’t hint and wait for him to book it. I just booked what I wanted. Last year I went to the movies, this year I might go for a massage. Just do it.

There it is.
That’s all it took.
They did everything I asked.
I got to do exactly what I wanted.
I had the best Mother’s Day ever.
I didn’t wait and hope that my hints would be figured out (they never are)….
I didn’t wait and see and then find that NOTHING happened and I was so disappointed and frustrated and sad.

I’ll admit that at first it felt a bit depressing to actually decide that I was just going to make my own best Mother’s Day happen, but once the day came and EVERYTHING was PERFECT…. it was totally worth it.

The kids were happy (they totally made breakfast!)… my husband was happy (he didn’t have to struggle to figure out what he should do since reading minds is not his forte) and for once, and most importantly…. I WAS HAPPY!!!

It felt great.

I used to fixate on the idea that they SHOULD know what to do and exactly what I want (if they really loved and appreciated me they would know!) but I realized that wasn’t the case.
I realized that they have limitations. The kids will be in charge once they’re older (they’re better at taking hints) and every partner is different (my husband will literally do anything I ask him to do, he just appreciates direction) so I’m cool with that.

I decided to enjoy feeling loved and appreciated (even though I had to help make that happen) and it worked.

It even showed them exactly what I loved and has helped to set the stage for every other year since…
I did buy ingredients yesterday, and that’s cool with me….

The post Don’t want another crappy Mother’s Day? Take charge! appeared first on Nutmeg Consulting.

“how long will my nipples feel like fire?”….
“when will breastfeeding feel better?”….
“is breastfeeding supposed to hurt so much?”…

What follows is usually an onslaught of answers from well-meaning moms who remember their own struggle. Their suggestions can sometimes be confusing, because they can be all be so different. Each answer comes from a real wish to help, but what they share is what worked for them in THEIR situation, including:

“just slather on the nipple ointment, that stuff is magic!” …
“FIND A LACTATION CONSULTANT ASAP!  You don’t want to wait or things will get worse!”…
“it will get better if you just keep at it for a few weeks, your nipples have to toughen up”…This is where I feel like I have to say something….

As a Lactation Consultant who primarily does home visits for new families, I usually meet them on their worst day. Maybe they’ve had a day or two of ‘pretty good’ breastfeeding, and things are really starting to hurt, or maybe it’s hurt from the first time they tried to latch that baby on.

I know a thing or two about nipple pain.

When the Facebook talk goes to the place where new moms are told that ‘nipple pain is just something you need to push through’ and ‘you have to wait until your nipples toughen up’, I feel like I have to say something.

Here’s the deal about nipple pain…
..although it’s VERY COMMON that breastfeeding hurts in the first week or two as you’re learning what to do, it’s really not SUPPOSED to hurt.

Since most new moms are not experts in breastfeeding (and may never even have seen someone breastfeed before!) they are learning this new skill, and don’t know exactly what they’re doing yet. ALMOST ALL new mothers will have a bad latch at some point in the middle of the night, because we’re too tired to care or to even notice. Once there’s a bit of damage to the nipple, then it can definitely be painful to latch for a day or two after that, even when you are getting a nice DEEP latch every time. This makes it seem like breastfeeding is actually supposed to hurt.

Most moms lean forward and lean down to give the breast to the baby, but this makes it easier for baby to slide away, and can end up with a bad and painful latch because baby’s mouth is compressing your nipple. Getting a DEEP latch where there is enough breast tissue in the baby’s mouth (it’s breastfeeding, not nipple feeding!) can usually make the whole situation feel better. You need to wait until you see a BIG open mouth before you let baby on to the breast.

Also, when the latch isn’t great, baby usually won’t get as much milk or colostrum. Don’t be a martyr, get help!

After there’s some damage to the nipple. even with a good latch it may hurt just for the first 10 seconds, but it should start to feel better and then be ok for the rest of the feed. This means that it’s a good latch, and that your nipple should start to heal.

There are some instances, like hidden Tongue Tie (which are often missed, even by Pediatricians, Midwives, Lactation Consultants and Nurses!) that can be causing you pain even when everyone says ‘it looks like a great latch’. Positioning and breast shaping techniques may help, but release may also be helpful in some cases.

No matter what you’ve heard, use your instinct. No one wants to keep having to nurse their baby over and over (it never seems to stop in those first few days/weeks!) and it’s really NO FUN if it’s also hurting you. Try a clinic, watch the videos, but if it’s still hurting, give me a call.

The sooner we can fix it, to sooner you will get to enjoy this experience!

The post Why breastfeeding can hurt, even when it’s not supposed to…. appeared first on Nutmeg Consulting.

Maybe you got scared that your baby wasn’t eating enough and you sent your partner out for some formula?

Maybe your doctor told you your baby was losing too much weight so you needed to start giving bottles? Did you know that you can still breastfeed?No matter what’s going on with you and your baby, there are always options if you want them. Even if it’s not going according to plan, if you want to keep breastfeeding, there is almost always a way to make things better. Even if you’ve started using, want to keep using, or need to keep using bottles, formula, pumping (or some combination) forever, YOU DON’T HAVE TO STOP BREASTFEEDING … even if you’ve entered the ‘Breastfeeding Grey Zone’.

What is the Grey Zone?

If we can agree that the usual definition of breastfeeding is the pretty traditional version where mom just sticks her baby on her breast and exclusively breastfeeds right from the source; then a mom enters the ‘Breastfeeding Grey Zone’ once she starts using any other method to feed her baby. Whether it’s using formula or donor milk, or if she has to start pumping or using tubes or bottles or cups, finger feeding or nipple shields, there are lots of things that can complicate breastfeeding. Even when these things are absolutely necessary, entering ‘The Breastfeeding Grey Zone’ can make things really hard.

Often, I meet new parents when they are in the thick of it. They are trying to latch their baby and nurse, they are pumping after feeds, AND they are giving supplements too. Their nipples hurt, they’re worried that their baby might be starving, and they haven’t slept in days. There’s a lot of crying, their crotch hurts and their boobs feel like they might explode, and they don’t know what to do next.

Don’t give up. Get help

Unfortunately, there is a belief right now that breastfeeding is supposed to be some ‘perfect’ experience, but THAT JUST DOESN’T ALWAYS HAPPEN!!! Telling mothers that it’s ‘so natural’ and that ‘babies will just crawl up and latch themselves on’ and know exactly what to do, is unfair and often, unhelpful. Sure it’s good to teach that breastfeeding is a normal thing that our bodies can do, but I disagree that it’s natural for most women right now. Did we all grow up in some magical village where all the topless nursing mothers sat around breastfeeding all day? Did we get to spend our lives watching babies feed, so we could learn about normal newborn behaviour, how to deal with common breastfeeding issues, and the best way to get a good latch? Um…. Nope.

Well, most of us in Canada and the U.S. didn’t anyway, and that’s a BIG part of the problem. It’s not ‘just natural’ right now. It takes work. It is a learned skill, and just like with any new skill, it takes practice, and we might not be ‘perfect’ at it right away. Be gentle with yourself during this process.

It seems like there are two extremes right now, when it comes to feeding a baby. Some providers don’t know how to help, so they just tell parents to start formula feeding and don’t offer support for breastfeeding at all! Even on Facebook mommy groups, the desire to eliminate guilt about ever using formula is making the phrase #fedisbest the first response when moms really just want some breastfeeding support. This is not enough…. (#supportisbest #informedisbest)

On the other hand, even well-meaning Doctors, Nurses and Lactation Consultants sometimes confuse ‘support’ with a tendency to issue blanket statements of what HAS to happen to make sure that breastfeeding works. I don’t think this is always helpful either! I don’t think being strict and judgmental about things is the best way to support new mothers and breastfeeding parents. If parents feel like they’ll be judged for ‘doing it wrong’ then they may be reluctant to ask for help, for fear that they will be criticized. Sometimes breastfeeding is messy…. And that’s ok. Things aren’t always just black or white, and that’s where the ‘Breastfeeding Grey Zone’ comes in. Support should meet you where you are in the journey, and offer help… not ultimatums.

It’s true that supporting mothers in the Breastfeeding Grey Zone can be hard. The knowledge that any of the things I mentioned can complicate the breastfeeding process, can make us worry enough to even tell mothers that these things shouldn’t be used at all! To me, it all depends on the goals of the individual family that I’m working with. If THEIR goal is exclusive breastfeeding, then yes, it’s important to teach about the risks and benefits of each method, and go from there. If they WANT to use these extras, then we still need a plan.

It’s important to me, that we make a distinction for those moms who JUST want to breastfeed their babies, because they usually need more support and are sometimes just not getting it.

The trend of telling a mother who is struggling with breastfeeding, that ‘fed is best’ is similar to saying that it doesn’t matter how we feed our babies! To many women who REALLY want to breastfeed, it IS important. What they really need is better support, and help to actually breastfeed.

Now hold on there for a second…. You know that I support moms who WANT to breastfeed in the Grey Zone too, right?? This is absolutely NOT a discussion of how a mother is any less of a breastfeeder or less of a good mother if she WANTS to use any of those things, like formula, pumping or bottles. LOTS of moms simply chose to do ‘a bit of both’, or maybe they don’t want to breastfeed at all. As long as that’s because they WANT to, (and not because they are doing it due to lack of proper breastfeeding support) then that’s just fine.

The important thing to know, if you’re in the middle of Breastfeeding in the Grey Zone is that some mothers sometimes NEED to use these things on a temporary basis and it’s still ok… you don’t have to stop breastfeeding! You can end up needing these things if baby is sleepy, can’t latch, has a tongue tie, you had a traumatic birth, you are in pain, you have postpartum depression, you adopted your baby, had a surrogate, you had breast surgery, you weren’t taught about normal newborn feeding behaviour, you didn’t pump/express when it might have helped, you were told to give a bottle and just needed your baby to eat, and you didn’t know what to do next!! Not everyone can do it, but if YOU still want to breastfeed, there is almost always a way to keep going. It may not be ‘perfect’, but YES, you can still breastfeed.

I am a Private Practice Lactation Consultant, NICU Nurse and Doula who has worked with parents and babies for almost 20 years, and I have breastfed my three children (#3 is still going!) so I have seen a lot of breastfeeding in my day. Breastfeeding doesn’t have to be perfect to still ‘count’. I see so many mothers who are struggling in the first few weeks and they think they might have missed their chance. It’s not too late. Get help as soon as possible. Find someone who supports you and helps you reach YOUR goals.

If it is important to you, then is important to me. If you want to keep breastfeeding, don’t give up.

The post Are You “Breastfeeding In The Grey Zone”? appeared first on Nutmeg Consulting.

So, likely you’ve heard of this by now. It’s becoming a bit of a ‘thing’ with some modern new mothers. You guessed it, I’m talking about eating your placenta….

Yep, it’s a real thing, and Kim Kardashian just did it. If you really haven’t heard of this, or are going ‘blech, that’s gross, why would I do that!!?” let me give you a little background.

Now most people don’t just grab their placenta moments after their baby is born, and and eat it like the cringe worthy scene from Dancing with Wolves where they eat the raw liver of the buffalo they just killed. In the words of Kim Kardashian when discussing her plans for placentophagy (eating your placenta) she said “I mean that I’m having it freeze-dried and made into a pill form—not actually fry it like a steak and eat it (which some people do, BTW).” It’s true, some women will cook it and eat it, some will cut it up into a few chunks, freeze it and make placenta smoothies, but most consume pills filled with placenta powder. Their placenta is either steamed and dehydrated, or just dehydrated raw, then crushed into a powder so it can be put into capsules.

Usually, it seems that this is a topic of discussion in the more ‘natural’ birth crowd. Women who want to get back to the primal, natural ways of birth from the past. Midwives and doulas are often well versed, and there’s even a new profession called ‘Placenta Encapsulators’ who will tell you all the benefits they’ve heard of that the new mother will enjoy. Now, I LOVE natural birth (although really I love any birth that gets you a baby and keeps you all alive) and I love anything that the mother feels will help her, but when it comes to eating placenta, the nurse in me wants to see the research…. but unfortunately at this point, there are no real studies.

The usual benefits that are touted by individuals are increased energy, decrease in post partum depression, decreased pain and even improved breastmilk supply. As with many ‘alternative’ therapies, there is often a lag between anecdotal benefits and the actual research that can ensure that this is real. In this case, I would love it if all this were true! Wouldn’t we all? Maybe not everyone would be game to eat their placenta, but if it could help women, why not? Well that’s the problem.

Recently I have heard a few well known breastfeeding clinics and researchers in Canada and the U.S. have been raising a red flag over the claims of increased breastmilk if mothers ingest their placentas. They are NOT recommending eating placenta pills because it could potentially DECREASE breastmilk supply. Now, the Lactation Consultant in me takes over. Whaaaaat?

If you want to get into the hormones of it, it makes sense. The birth of the placenta causes a sharp drop in the progesterone in the mother’s body. This rapid drop signals the start of the lactation process. Also, throughout breastfeeding, progesterone levels remain very low.

If you didn’t already guess from that convenient biology lesson, placenta has progesterone in it. If a mother has ‘retained placenta’ (or a piece of placenta stuck inside after her baby’s birth) it is well known that she can have trouble with her milk supply. What if the same is true if the mother is actually EATING progesterone for weeks or MONTHS after her baby is born…. It makes sense.

Often the ‘proof’ that humans should eat their placenta is that we are mammals too, and almost all mammals eat their placentas! The difference is that they DO eat it raw, and they eat it right away. They aren’t making it into little pills and keeping it going for so long. What if we are making trouble for ourselves?

Now, I’m not saying everyone will have issues. Just like the great things that are possible for some, not all women say that there was any benefit they noticed from eating their placenta. It’s the same with this theory. There is no real research either way. I just think it’s important that this trend isn’t just a fad that mothers are jumping into. I want to make sure they are aware that it’s not an iron-clad proven thing. Until there are REAL studies (which may never happen since someone would have to pay for it!) we really can’t be sure. Mothers may still feel really sure that this will benefit them, and they feel ok about the risks and that’s great!

Placenta Art by Amelia Rebolo: Birth & Postpartum Doula, Placenta and Breastmilk artist – Nutmeg Consulting

We actually have a Doulas at Nutmeg Consulting who are Placenta Specialists who used to offer this service, however in December 2018, Health Canada banned companies/individuals from providing this service because it was not always being done in a safe and careful way!
(we always had the clients take their own placenta home so they were aware of the storage and handling safety, and that they didn’t get the wrong placenta!… Our doulas also followed strict food safety handling protocols among other things…)

Well now the focus is on ceremony, and so as a Placenta Artist, our doula Amelia Rebolo can make artistic prints with the placenta and umbilical cord as a memory or tribute to this super cool organ that helped to grow your baby!

If people are intending to DIY their encapsulation (which is now the only allowable option) there are several recommendations that I LOVE, and would recommend!

• Either you eat your placenta right away in a smoothie  (a la mammals) or WAIT 2-3 weeks to make sure that there is no hormonal influence that could affect milk supply. Also, by around 2 weeks, the full milk supply should be sorted out (if all is going well with breastfeeding) so it would be easy to tell if there was any negative effect happening. This is all very reassuring to me!
• Ensure that your placenta is kept cold, just like you would store and handle any meat before you eat it.
• Make sure the placenta is steamed/cooked to a high enough temperature that bacteria/viruses are killed before dehydration,  and never consume a placenta if there is suspected infection at birth.

Mothers should ultimately make a decision that feels right to them! Follow your instinct all the way. I just want to make sure that moms know there may actually be an answer to Kim’s question….. ‘why not?’.

The post Kim Kardashian ate her placenta…should you? appeared first on Nutmeg Consulting.

A staple in many homes during the winter months, mistletoe for centuries has been considered a beautiful plant with mystical powers capable of absorbing bad spirits in its surroundings and transforming them into joy and luck. As you plan for the arrival of your new baby or settle into life as a new parent, let me tell you this – the power of the mistletoe is in your hands. Just like the mistletoe does at this time of year, you can also sense what is not serving you and transform that into good energy for you, your family, and the world your children will grow up in.

So what is it that is coming to you this holiday season? What energy are you absorbing and sending out, what are you noticing around you, and how would you like to transform that? Be honest with yourself. The magic of the mistletoe lies in its power to transform the bad into good, but for us to do that, we must first open our hearts up to how we are truly feeling, even if it’s painful. After all, nothing can be transformed if we don’t know where we are starting from. If that means that you suddenly break down crying at 1pm in a shawarma restaurant, so be it (although as I write this I realize that this may be more common than not for our pregnant readers!)! Your heart and your soul will thank you for that release.

Slowly you will be able to find the sweet spot between pain and hope and the tipping point between hopelessness and power, fear and love, suffering and peace, depression and meaning. That is where your true power lies, the power of the mistletoe. In here, in that pain, lies your ability to transform. Not only that, but your power to truly live with purpose and to be a source of light, of inspiration and of joy to your family and your community is found there. It is within the pain that you can find the love that is so desperately needed.

From there, I challenge you to take a leap. Small or big, it doesn’t matter. Just do something that is line with your heart, with the love you want to spread and the world you want to create for your kids. Take them on an adventure, volunteer with them, start a group or a movement, take up a hobby, be honest about feelings you’ve been withholding from others, or just anything that makes you come alive. In this holiday season, I will be taking this leap myself. I invite you to join me in this journey, and to give yourself and your family the gift of YOU. Oh, and of course, remember to hang up that mistletoe!

Warmest wishes this holiday season,
Emma

The post A Dash of Mistletoe Can Make the Holiday Season Brighter For the Whole Family! appeared first on Nutmeg Consulting.