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How exactly does one prepare to breastfeed or chestfeed?  Shouldn’t it just be natural?

Do you feel ready to breastfeed? Did you know there are things you can do BEFORE baby is born that will help you be more prepared?

First, what have you heard about breastfeeding / chestfeeding?  Is it natural, healthy, convenient and free?   Sure, Public health flyers will remind you all about that.  But what about painful, exhausting, hard and stressful?  You don’t see that on any posters, but that’s what many expectant parents hear from their friends! 

Well, which is it?  Is it a calm, enjoyable bonding experience or a gauntlet of pumps, cracked nipples and babies with excess weight loss?

Honest answer?  It can be both.

It is very common to have at least a few struggles with breastfeeding, especially in the first week.

Whether it’s a painful latch, a sleepy baby, constant crying or someone telling you that baby isn’t getting enough milk.  There are lots of challenges you might encounter, because most of us didn’t grow up in a village where everyone was topless and sat around a fire feeding their babies all day.  If we had, more of us would find breastfeeding/chestfeeding natural, instinctive and easy. But for many, it’s not.  

Feeding your newborn is something you need practice, information, support, and time to get good at.  Also, there are some great tricks that can make a big difference if you know about them ahead of time, so you can know what to expect and what to try before any trouble starts!

Learning about breastfeeding BEFORE your baby is born, is actually very helpful, although there’s nothing like the real thing when it comes to actually practicing latch, and holding a real-live baby!  Knowing what is normal (like REALLY frequent feeding so baby can tell your body how much milk to make) and what it’s supposed to feel like (it’t NOT supposed to hurt!) are really good to know ahead of time.  Trying to Google “what is clusterfeeding” or “How to breastfeed a sleepy baby” after 30 hours labour is not as much fun as you might think!

Seriously, SO MANY issues that people have with breastfeeding stem from not knowing what to expect, how to prevent nipple pain, and what to do if baby is not latching, is too sleepy to feed well, or when baby is losing too much weight… learning all the ins and outs ahead of time can prevent may of these issues!

Here are some of my TOP TIPS to get you started….

1. Learn about Hand Expression 

If there is ANY reason a baby is having trouble breastfeeding in the first few days after birth, hand express your colostrum every 2-3 hours for 10-15 minutes.  You might only get a few drops but it signals your body that you’re still ‘IN’ for becoming a breastfeeder and that you would like to request a great milk supply even if baby isn’t feeding well right now.  

We can figure a lot of things out later on about a deep latch, nipple comfort, sleepy baby and excess weight loss if your body is reminded to continue making milk.

2. Spoons are made for babies too!

If your baby isn’t able to get colostrum out of your breast the ‘usual’ way because he’s tongue-tied, sleepy, it hurts you or he just won’t latch, then use a spoon!  

First, read #1 …..  Now hand express right into a spoon & give it to the baby! Spoons are easy to use, hold small amounts (which is usually all newborns need anyway….seriously!) and you can express your thick colostrum right into it so you don’t lose your 3 precious drops in the pump valve thingy!

3. Take off your shirt and hold your naked baby!

This one seems simple and obvious once you learn about how much ‘skin-to-skin holding’ can improve breastfeeding outcomes.  Most parents however, think they’re supposed to immediately put their new baby in all the cute outfits and hats they’ve had washed and waiting for this moment. I don’t blame you, that outfit IS super cute, BUT if your baby is having trouble waking up, calming down, latching, or is cold, I promise that the science here is right.  Your chest is the place to be.  Put your feet up, get comfy and hold your baby.  

4. Keep trying, and get help.
Ask for help, ask for more help, then if you still need help, find different help. (Yes, I do LIVE private virtual sessions ANYWHERE!)

5. We recommend that all our pregnant clients take this on-demand, online Breastfeeding Prep class :

“How to Breastfeed” from our Virtual Academy! 

(use code NUTMEGMOM50 any time to get 50% off!!)

This Breastfeeding Prep course will teach you

* how to sit * how to hold * how to latch * how to know if baby is getting enough milk… and what to do if they aren’t * what to expect in the first few days * how to avoid nipple pain * how to get a great milk supply * what to do with a sleepy baby * what to do if baby won’t latch

…. and how to get breastfeeding off to a great start!!

Breastfeeding takes practice.  Learning about what to expect in REAL life can make a big difference in your confidence.  The sooner you find help the better, but even if things aren’t perfect right from the start, try these things and reach out! Your breastfeeding career really can continue almost always with the right information, if you are a bit stubborn, and just a little bit lucky.

Angela Grant Buechner, BA, BScN, RN, IBCLC is a Registered Nurse • Lactation Consultant • Birth Doula • Postpartum Doula • Newborn Care Specialist • Educator in Toronto offering LIVE virtual support sessions worldwide!

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Now your baby is three months old and wait….WHAT IS HAPPENING!!?

Breastfeeding concerns are really common at three months because a few new things can happen all at once, and it can really freak parents out!  If you have had a sufficient milk supply, baby has been gaining well up to this point, and you have been only been breastfeeding, then these changes can be totally normal, and here’s why!

This is the age that babies can completely change their ‘usual’ feeding behaviour in a few different ways:

1. They can become distracted at the breast.

Your perfect, calm little baby that could nurse in the middle of a concert until now, will suddenly start popping off during feeds to look towards any sound! If someone even tries to talk to you while you’re breastfeeding, baby will unlatch and stare… as you drip or spray milk all over baby and yourself. The trouble with daytime distraction, is that babies will usually start needing to nurse more often at night to make up for it. This phase hopefully lasts for just a little while and they eventually stop caring about every little noise, but it can be totally normal and necessary when this ‘reverse cycling’ happens.

2. At the same time, babies around three months can suddenly become really efficient nursers.

Feeds that once took 40 minutes to happen in the early days, can now become really short! Some babies can seriously nurse for just a few minutes, and they can still get enough! If your baby’s weight gain has been good with breastfeeding alone (we’re looking for an average 1-2 pounds weight gain per month at this stage) then its ok to continue to feed on demand, and just feed for those few minutes and follow her lead!

3. Another fun thing they switch up at the same time is that they change all their feeding cues!

You were cruising along, nursing your baby whenever she ‘asked’ for it, and now your baby starts refusing the breast!! This can be very confusing for parents…..but wait, your baby has her hand in her mouth, so she must be hungry, right? At three months, the answer might be NO! The hunger cues or signals (like hands in the mouth) suddenly can mean something completely different… Now when your baby jams a fist in her face, it just means that she has found something new to play with and chew on, and doesn’t always mean hunger anymore. Often, parents are offering the breast and trying harder and harder to nurse, while baby is trying harder and harder to refuse.   Although this can seem bizarre, it can be a normal phase.  At this age (if you have been exclusively breastfeeding and all is well) then you are ok to just follow baby’s lead, and let them say no!

4. Simultaneously, they can now want to breastfeed less often too.

If your baby wants to nurse less often then YOU think they should, and you continue to offer them the breast as usual (based on timing or the ‘old’ cues), the refusal may just be their way saying “no thanks”. Parents can get frustrated or scared when baby is pushing the breast away, arching their back and getting upset at the breast, because they think baby is on a nursing strike or isn’t feeding enough. Babies can get frustrated when we try to force them on the breast at this point, because they just don’t want to eat right now! Try to remember that it’s ok to trust your baby at this age (not so much with a sleepy one week old)…because at 3-4 months, they can reliably tell you when they’re hungry, but also when they’re not.

If you have had a sufficient milk supply, baby has been gaining well, and you’ve been breastfeeding, then this is totally normal stuff.  If you have been offering bottles more and more often, then it may be a good idea to chat with an IBCLC in case the fast flow is getting baby a bit frustrated at breast….. or milk supply has been affected.

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                            Will any of my pre-pregnancy work clothes ever fit the same?

                            Will making a decision about daycare/nanny/part time/full time/gradual start/home daycare be easy?

                            Do I have to stop breastfeeding if I’m going back to work?

answer to all of the above? NO. One of the most common questions I get is how to prepare for going back to work if you’re breastfeeding. If you’re lucky and live in Canada (and can live off Maternity leave for a year) then you may have a very different experience than most parents living south of us in the United States who have to return within weeks of their birth.

Although we can feel lucky that we have a whole year to be with our babies, and get a chance to establish breastfeeding in the early weeks and months, we also go through very different phases and many babies have never had a need to drink their breastmilk in any other way then straight from the tap.

Many people think that it’s expected that they will just stop at a year because they’re going back to work (and we’ll talk about how to approach that if it’s your choice) but MANY parents decide to continue breastfeeding once or twice per day or more, even if they are going back to work full time.

Breastfeeding an older baby is very different than breastfeeding a newborn. Often, many day-to-day things are intertwined with breastfeeding, including nap time, meal time, the need for magical nursing sessions to cure any problem/injury/injustice and even just chilling out and snuggling. Many moms don’t know that they can absolutely continue to breastfeed, even if they also want to make sure that baby can drink from a bottle/cup/straw so they can go to daycare, still have naps and have a way to get liquids when their usual source is at work.

1. FIGURE OUT YOUR PERFECT PLAN

What would your perfect scenario be for nursing/pumping/bottle/cup/weaning be?

There are many ways to continue breastfeeding even if you are going back to work full time. Many people breastfeed just first thing in the morning, right when they pick up baby or get home, or at bedtime. Some babies will nurse once overnight or early morning instead, and some will do any combination of these. Whatever works, what do YOU want to do?

2. DON’T PANIC!

Many breastfeeders think that they have to plan for MONTHS ahead of time for their return to work at a year, but many people need almost no drastic changes ahead of time. I usually say about 4-6 weeks is enough time for most plans, even if you want to drastically reduce the number of nursing sessions that you do per day.

Many people just continue to nurse as usual right up until the first day of daycare/return to work, and they may just have had their baby practice with a cup/bottle ahead of time so they know that their baby can take liquids in another way. Recommendations say that a child at a year doesn’t necessarily need replacement ‘MILK’ (pumped/cow/ formula etc) as long as they are breastfeeding two or more times per day. Water and food can be enough during the day, and baby can nurse and make up for it when you’re together again….. get ready to be tackled!!

3. BE READY TO PUMP OR EXPRESS IF NEEDED.

Sometimes moms are told that if they pump they will increase their milk supply (which can be helpful if needed see blog HERE. )…. If you are stopping, reducing or skipping a feed, then your body is still expecting that you will need that feed as usual and the milk will be ready. If you skip the feed then you may become very full and uncomfortable. Pumping or hand expressing just a little bit (not to empty the breast as much as usual) can be helpful and necessary to prevent painful engorgement and even mastitis. You’d still be removing less milk than usual, so you would still technically be weaning.

If you want to maintain your milk supply, or collect and provide expressed breastmilk for baby while you’re away, then you may want to pump once or twice for 10-15 minutes, and collect as much as you can. More pumping advice HERE.

4. TEACH BABY ANOTHER WAY TO FALL ASLEEP

If you nurse your baby to sleep, it can be very helpful to give them a chance to ALSO learn another way of falling asleep. I never stopped nursing to sleep whenever I was home, at bedtime or on weekends, but I made sure that during the few weeks before my return to work, my babes were able to practice being rocked, walked in a baby carrier, back rubbed etc to sleep.

If possible, ask your daycare provider what they are able to do for nap time, and what the usual routine is. Will they be willing to provide individual care? Rocking babies etc? Then have another member of your family give it a try a few times. At around 1 year, most babies are able to figure out that when mom is here they get to breastfeed, but when dad/partner/nana/friend/caregiver is here, I get the other way.

5. KNOW THAT IT WILL GET BETTER WITH TIME….

Everyone needs time to learn a new thing, practice a new way, and get used to a big change. Just like we can feel sad or nervous, babies will still have big feelings and nursing when we are with them can be a wonderful way to re-connect. Research shows that nursing even a couple of times per day can be very helpful for reducing illness during the transition to a new daycare situation, so it can really be worth it to keep it going if possible. Your body and your baby will adjust to the new routine.

If you need more help setting up a plan or want to discuss all the options for you and your situation, feel free to reach out for a chat, or schedule a ‘Return to Work’ consult with us.  We’d love to help!

http://www.nutmegconsulting.ca

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1. Tie a string, ribbon or fishing line to the trunk of your tree. About one third from the top, and then tie it to a screw or nail attached to a door frame, window frame or plate rail. This will keep baby from pulling the tree over, or at least give you a chance to stop them before they pull it down! We have a plate rail in the corner where our tree usually sits, so we keep the screw in and its unnoticeable! One year, I even used the white string that was tied around the tree when we bought it! Recycling and laziness at it’s finest… (Look really closely in this pic and you can see the wire!)

2. Decorate the lower half of the tree with unbreakable, or soft decorations. Depending on the age of your baby. Avoid decorations with small bells, or googly eyes or small beads that can pose a choking hazard if pulled off. We have a bunch of different felt decorations from over the years (from Ikea!) that are cute for babies to look at but don’t pose a threat to them or risk being broken if dropped!

3. Cover electrical cords with duct tape or electrical tape. To keep little fingers safe. Taping together any junctions (where one cord plugs into another) can prevent little ones from pulling plug or wires out of extension cords. Also, tape loose wires along the baseboard to limit the chance that they will be pulled on or played with. We use white duct tape to match our baseboards (do it slowly and smoothly) so it is barely noticeable! Make sure any extension cords or wires are not worn or damaged.

4. Make sure any lights you have on the tree don’t heat up! Some older strings of holiday lights may heat up and can burn little hands, so make sure your lights are cool to the touch even when they are on for a while!

5. Help your curious baby or toddler to explore and look at the tree. Staying within arms reach as they look at the tree during the first few days may be necessary. Asking older kids to help decorate with non-breakable decorations, and teaching them to gently touch with ‘just touch with one finger’ will let them satisfy their curiousity without smashing things! Babies will often crawl up and try to grab at branches, so barriers of heavy boxes (wrapped to look like presents) can be a great idea if they just won’t stay away. If your baby doesn’t lose interest after a few days and just won’t keep away from pulling on the tree, then a baby gate system might be helpful too.

Try to remember the excitement and wonder your little ones must be feeling when they see such new and beautiful things in their home. They are curious and want to explore. Making things safe as possible will prevent accidents, and keep the holidays fun and enjoyable for everyone!

The post Top 5 Tips to Keep Your Baby (And Tree) Safe This Holiday Season! appeared first on Nutmeg Consulting.

Don’t worry though, this is not an actual law. This is just one theory in parenting that may or may not stick around, but rest assured…. You don’t have to if you don’t want to.

Of course I understand WHY this topic is so huge, because…SLEEP! We all want it, and more of it! Hey, if you could say one thing to your ‘before-you-had-a-baby” self wouldn’t it be “GO TO SLEEP!!!” I would say “Do whatever you want for a whole day, and then sleep all night, because it’s going to be your last chance for a LONG time!!”

The problem is, that the obsessive focus for new parents recently (just in the last 10-15 years really) has become totally focussed on SLEEP TRAINING. Unfortunately, this often goes hand-in-hand with ‘experts’ telling us to ignore our instincts to go to our babies and soothe them, and I don’t think that’s ok.

Don’t babies know how to sleep already? One of these ‘sleep experts’, Sarah Ockwell says “babies sleep so well in utero because they are in constant contact with the mother, they are well nourished (ie not hungry or thirsty), they are warm, they are surrounded by reassuring noises, they are in the dark, or any light they are exposed to is red-tinged and they are constantly ‘rocked’ by movement.  It is completely unnatural to expect a baby to sleep without these things once they have been born. Expecting them to fall asleep alone in a cot/crib/basket/bassinet, expecting them to sleep to a parent enforced schedule (overriding their innate cues) and expecting them to sleep for the hours that adults deem ‘appropriate’ (most are anything but) is just plain wrong”

Hugging my baby, co-sleeping with my baby, rocking my baby, nursing my baby is NOT a ‘negative sleep association’ (that term makes me want to rip my hair out.). Doing these things was MY choice as a parent. You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to. You can do sleep training, that’s your choice. You can also choose to nurse your child to sleep for the next 3 years if you want. I really don’t care, because it’s your kid.  BUT let me just say that if you’re feeling sadness, guilt, pain or doubt about ANY parenting choice (including sleep-training) then perhaps it’s your parental intuition kicking in telling you it’s not right for you and your family.

So why do other ‘experts’ say the complete opposite?

So why do we get constant messaging that you OWE it to your babies to “do whatever you have to to make them learn to sleep alone”, even if they have to make them cry? They even say that it’s “not fair to your babies” if you don’t do it, and you’ll end up rocking your teenagers to sleep!! Often it is the people who stand to make money off this ever-growing ‘Sleep Training’ industry who say it’s the only way. It almost seems like they want you to feel bad for nursing or rocking your baby to sleep.  Try to remember that it’s just another theory, and if they make you doubt yourself enough, you’ll spend money: on products, on courses, on books, apps and sleep training.  They make us feel like we’re doing everything wrong, so we must spend and FIX our broken babies.

Now before you freak out on me since Nutmeg has our very own GENTLE SLEEP SUPPORT SERVICES, I 100% agree that sometimes we need to change what isn’t working for us.  It took YEARS for me to find a Sleep Educator who  understands the normal needs of babies, including feeding (even at night, GASP!) and the TONS of things you can do to help your babies to sleep alone.  It doesn’t mean you have to let them CIO if that doesn’t make you feel comfortable.

As a parent, I was totally strict about bedtimes and naptimes (once my babies show me their own natural routine/needs) and I even bought a white noise machine for my 3rd baby and I would barely leave home without it! The difference with Gentle Sleep Support, is that they don’t try to bully parents into feeling that ALL babies need to be ‘trained’, or guilt someone into making their child ‘cry it out’ or do any method that they don’t want to. Instead they support those parents to do what feels right, even if it involves rocking/nursing/hugging to sleep.  You can still get more sleep with gentle methods!!

To me the most important thing is that NO ONE should be telling parents that there is some kind of scientific reason that babies SHOULD be sleep trained. My kids all sleep. They sleep ALL night. I never let them cry, I nursed them all to sleep for ages, I did some co-sleeping with all of them, and they all learned how to sleep alone too. I personally never minded nursing them to sleep for months, and months (and months)… but when I did start to mind it, I tried something else. I gently taught them to nurse and then rocked them to sleep. After that worked for a while, I taught them that I would rock them until they were mostly asleep, and then put them in their crib and patted their back….. this is how we did it. It worked just fine.

Please don’t insult parents by saying we are WEAK if we can’t handle the crying and that it’s the same as a 3 year old having a tantrum over chocolate. These are babies. It’s ok if they need us. This is not an imperative. Sleep training is a choice that desperate parents make because they’re SO FREAKING TIRED!!.. I get it. It works for many families. Just don’t tell us it’s the only thing that’s good for babies though. Just don’t.

I understand that doing full on ‘cry it out’ may be a matter of life or death for an exhausted mother experiencing postpartum depression. It may be the only choice that you want to make, and that’s cool. I have worked with babies and families for the past 20 years as a Registered Nurse, Lactation Consultant and Doula, and I will continue to support and teach parents about what to expect from their babies and their natural developmental stages. I will continue to remind people why EONS of parents have warned other parents to ‘Sleep when baby sleeps’… because there’s not a lot of sleep to go around. It doesn’t last forever. I will teach new parents about SAFE BEDSHARING so they know there are other options out there. I just don’t want to hear anyone else sheepishly say “I know I should sleep train but…” or “I know it’s bad that I nurse to sleep, but”.

The thing about parenting YOUR child is you are allowed to make your own choices that feel right for you. You are NORMAL if you choose to respond to them at night. Please don’t let anyone tell you you’re doing anything wrong. There is no ‘should’ (or ‘should not’) when it comes to nurturing your baby.

-Angela

The post Why You DON’T Have to Make Your Baby Cry Themselves to Sleep… If You Don’t Want to! appeared first on Nutmeg Consulting.