Will any of my pre-pregnancy work clothes ever fit the same?

                            Will making a decision about daycare/nanny/part time/full time/gradual start/home daycare be easy?

                            Do I have to stop breastfeeding if I’m going back to work?

answer to all of the above? NO. One of the most common questions I get is how to prepare for going back to work if you’re breastfeeding. If you’re lucky and live in Canada (and can live off Maternity leave for a year) then you may have a very different experience than most parents living south of us in the United States who have to return within weeks of their birth.

Although we can feel lucky that we have a whole year to be with our babies, and get a chance to establish breastfeeding in the early weeks and months, we also go through very different phases and many babies have never had a need to drink their breastmilk in any other way then straight from the tap.

Many people think that it’s expected that they will just stop at a year because they’re going back to work (and we’ll talk about how to approach that if it’s your choice) but MANY parents decide to continue breastfeeding once or twice per day or more, even if they are going back to work full time.

Breastfeeding an older baby is very different than breastfeeding a newborn. Often, many day-to-day things are intertwined with breastfeeding, including nap time, meal time, the need for magical nursing sessions to cure any problem/injury/injustice and even just chilling out and snuggling. Many moms don’t know that they can absolutely continue to breastfeed, even if they also want to make sure that baby can drink from a bottle/cup/straw so they can go to daycare, still have naps and have a way to get liquids when their usual source is at work.

1. FIGURE OUT YOUR PERFECT PLAN

What would your perfect scenario be for nursing/pumping/bottle/cup/weaning be?

There are many ways to continue breastfeeding even if you are going back to work full time. Many people breastfeed just first thing in the morning, right when they pick up baby or get home, or at bedtime. Some babies will nurse once overnight or early morning instead, and some will do any combination of these. Whatever works, what do YOU want to do?

2. DON’T PANIC!

Many breastfeeders think that they have to plan for MONTHS ahead of time for their return to work at a year, but many people need almost no drastic changes ahead of time. I usually say about 4-6 weeks is enough time for most plans, even if you want to drastically reduce the number of nursing sessions that you do per day.

Many people just continue to nurse as usual right up until the first day of daycare/return to work, and they may just have had their baby practice with a cup/bottle ahead of time so they know that their baby can take liquids in another way. Recommendations say that a child at a year doesn’t necessarily need replacement ‘MILK’ (pumped/cow/ formula etc) as long as they are breastfeeding two or more times per day. Water and food can be enough during the day, and baby can nurse and make up for it when you’re together again….. get ready to be tackled!!

3. BE READY TO PUMP OR EXPRESS IF NEEDED.

Sometimes moms are told that if they pump they will increase their milk supply (which can be helpful if needed see blog HERE. )…. If you are stopping, reducing or skipping a feed, then your body is still expecting that you will need that feed as usual and the milk will be ready. If you skip the feed then you may become very full and uncomfortable. Pumping or hand expressing just a little bit (not to empty the breast as much as usual) can be helpful and necessary to prevent painful engorgement and even mastitis. You’d still be removing less milk than usual, so you would still technically be weaning.

If you want to maintain your milk supply, or collect and provide expressed breastmilk for baby while you’re away, then you may want to pump once or twice for 10-15 minutes, and collect as much as you can. More pumping advice HERE.

4. TEACH BABY ANOTHER WAY TO FALL ASLEEP

If you nurse your baby to sleep, it can be very helpful to give them a chance to ALSO learn another way of falling asleep. I never stopped nursing to sleep whenever I was home, at bedtime or on weekends, but I made sure that during the few weeks before my return to work, my babes were able to practice being rocked, walked in a baby carrier, back rubbed etc to sleep.

If possible, ask your daycare provider what they are able to do for nap time, and what the usual routine is. Will they be willing to provide individual care? Rocking babies etc? Then have another member of your family give it a try a few times. At around 1 year, most babies are able to figure out that when mom is here they get to breastfeed, but when dad/partner/nana/friend/caregiver is here, I get the other way.

5. KNOW THAT IT WILL GET BETTER WITH TIME….

Everyone needs time to learn a new thing, practice a new way, and get used to a big change. Just like we can feel sad or nervous, babies will still have big feelings and nursing when we are with them can be a wonderful way to re-connect. Research shows that nursing even a couple of times per day can be very helpful for reducing illness during the transition to a new daycare situation, so it can really be worth it to keep it going if possible. Your body and your baby will adjust to the new routine.

If you need more help setting up a plan or want to discuss all the options for you and your situation, feel free to reach out for a chat, or schedule a ‘Return to Work’ consult with us.  We’d love to help!

http://www.nutmegconsulting.ca

The post Returning to Work AND Breastfeeding? It can be done! appeared first on Nutmeg Consulting.

After attending a lovely, powerful woman giving birth yesterday as a Birth Doula (I’m also a Registered Nurse & Lactation Consultant) and therefore missing the first day of summer break with my kids, I thought I could come up with something fun to do to for Canada’s 150 celebration.

The basic plan was to go to see some amazing fireworks tonight. We’re not huge fans of crowds, and I strongly believe that letting a 3 year old stay up to 11 pm is almost never a good idea, so we were going to enjoy them from the comfy top floor balcony of my in-laws home.

With an entire day in front of us, we decided to think small, and go to the Port Credit Canada Day parade….. We drove 10 minutes to the Mimico train station and took the GO train just 2 stops “because trains are fun” (so at least one of our kids would like the ride) and we could skip the crammed parking lots near the parade.

[/cs_text][x_custom_headline level=”h2″ looks_like=”h3″ accent=”false” style=”color: hsl(177, 46%, 53%);”] After making it 90% of the way to our station, our train suddenly stopped. Within minutes we were told that we had made an emergency stop, and that they were trying to gather details.

Quite quickly we were told that that there was an “incident” involving a trespasser and that wouldn’t be moving any time soon. We settled in and checked the stash of snacks, but nobody panicked. Unfortunately, we soon found out that the incident was serious enough that the train had technically become a crime scene involving a train and the ‘trespasser’ and therefore were unable to leave and we would probably be there for about 3 hours.

Ugh. Right away we told our older 2 kids (aged 12 & 9) that there had been a serious accident and that we weren’t going to complain because no matter what, someone else was having the worst day of their lives (I kept thinking that everyone has a mother and I’m so sorry for them)…and that this was just an inconvenience to us.

We happened to be on the busiest car of the train so there had been chatter and joking about how we could make a human chain to escape into a nearby backyard, or how we could have Pizza delivered if it came to that, but we were patient…we just waited.

After a while of sitting, talking and an exhaustive iSpy game (there’s only so much for a 3 year old to spy from an unmoving train) I whispered to my 9 year old that I had an idea for a Canada day project. I suggested that we should take this opportunity to meet some new people because that’s what Canada is all about, and she quickly jumped on the idea. Within minutes she had started her first ‘interview’ and was meeting people on our train car and asking what their plans had been (before being stuck here for the day), where they were born, and what they loved most about Canada.

The response was awesome.

We met a new friend who had also been on his way to the parade, and although he was born in Canada he actually grew up in Ethiopia and had lots of stories to tell. My daughter talked his ear off and he graciously told her all about their New Year celebrations (in September!) and why he decided to move back to Canada 1 year ago. He told us he was supposed to meet up with his Robotics team, so they talked about building stuff, and also how the drivers are apparently better in Canada, and that people are just so nice here.

Next was Wendy, who was born in China and moved here when she was just 22 (only a few years ago). Her favourite thing back home was spring festival because her favourite memory of home was all the amazing food, and that was the best part of the festival. School in China was VERY different than what she hears about school here, and she said that everyone is so nice in Canada… she even said that “talking to a stranger on a train would never happen in China, that would be weird”… I explained that it is still a bit odd here to be honest, but we all joked that we were here anyway and she kept chatting along…

We met a family with kids, and the mother and I shared an interest in helping new mothers and that she runs a mom’s group in the area… we even shared contact info! We also met a young couple heading to Niagara Falls for the day. The mom in me quickly found out that they hadn’t eaten breakfast, and we gave them apples, while the next family over gave them granola bars…

By the time we were cleared by police and the train was able to move, we had been on the train for three and a half hours…

There had been a show or two watched on the cell phone with the most battery, a mile or more had been walked up and down the train cars (they have cool new automatic doors now), and we had met a train car worth of other Canadians who were friendly, open, and just trying to make the best of a bad situation.

As the train finally pulled into the station (we all had to get off) we all clapped and said goodbye, wished each other good luck and Happy Canada Day. … and you know, it really was. I know that Canada isn’t perfect. I also know that there’s no where else I’d rather live. I like what we’re trying to become, and I like what we stand for.

We finished the day with “daytime Sparklers” and the girls still went with Dad to watch the fireworks. The youngest was tucked into bed by 7pm (phew!) and I got caught up with work, organizing with new moms all around the city who were having visits from our Postpartum Doulas tonight!

I really do love Canada.
Happy Canada Day!

The post I was stuck on a stopped train for over 3 hours on Canada Day, and it made me love Canada even more. appeared first on Nutmeg Consulting.

As Mother’s Day quickly approaches, I start to hear story after story from moms of young children that are usually left feeling disappointed and resentful on this special day! They say that their partners either don’t remember, or don’t do anything to help their young children make or do anything to celebrate their Mom. They feel torn between relaxing and resting, and having to go and celebrate their own mother’s and mothers-in-law (that’s a whole separate discussion) and they are left feeling forgotten, resentful and worse than if it was just another day… So what can we do to make sure we have a great Mother’s Day?

I realized a few years ago, that I always had a very clear wish list in mind for how I wanted Mother’s Day to go. I’m sure everyone has a different vision for what would make them feel special, but for me as a mother of 3, all I wanted was 3 things:

1. To sleep in for a whole extra hour (bringing me to an amazing wake up time of 8 am!)
2. Some breakfast in bed that wasn’t cereal (if the kids helped and felt proud and happy, even better!)
3. To go somewhere later that day either by myself (pedicure or massage perhaps?) or with the older two kids so I could actually sit motionless and enjoy myself (think ‘high tea’ ..because I really like scones, or a movie)

Of course I also love the cute cards or crafts that are usually taken care of by the awesome Nursery School, Daycare or school teachers… (they’re always looking out for us Moms!)… so that was something lovely that always happened for me, but if not, maybe that’s on your list. If you have a baby, you might want to buy the supplies to do a special hand print or memento of your first Mother’s Day…. you can’t get that one back. So send a pic to your partner if necessary of what you want ‘baby’ to make for you.

You may also feel like you have to make an appearance to see your OWN Mother, but you could try to explain your goal and do something with her the day before, or if that won’t fly, have an afternoon or evening event planned so at least you get most of the day for yourself and your own little family to enjoy.

What I wanted for Mother’s Day wasn’t rocket science. This didn’t take much planning or booking ahead or stress. I had 3 young kids so I was realistic and didn’t expect that I would be whisked away for a weekend at the spa (although that’s not a horrible idea for next year maybe…) I just felt that if those things happened I would feel special, appreciated and it was the picture of Mother’s Day that I always had in my head.

My kids were 10, 7 and 1 at the time of my revelation. I figured out that my husband really does suck at reading my mind. He would either do absolutely NOTHING with the kids ahead of time (unlike me who would at least make sure the kids made a picture or painted a rock for father’s day) or would plan something that was nice, but really NOT what I wanted to do for Mother’s day.

I once heard a Solo Mom say that she always had the BEST Mother’s Day because she wasn’t waiting around for someone else to plan it, so she just planned it herself!! She chose EXACTLY what she wanted to do, chose EXACTLY what she wanted to eat, and went EXACTLY where she wanted to go. It was AMAZING!!

I was inspired and decided that I would rather lose the romantic idea that my hubby would magically know exactly what I REALLY wanted for the perfect Mother’s Day (even with some pretty obvious hints!) and so…
….I just took charge, ‘facilitated the magic’ and made it happen!!

So here is what I did to make sure I had the BEST MOTHER’S DAY EVER….

1. First I just bought the stuff I wanted. Wow. That was easy. Shocker, I know, but I was actually in the grocery store earlier that week and since I wanted ‘So- Easy-Kids-Can-Make-It-French-Toast-Casserole’ and sausages, I bought the ingredients. Done. The day before Mother’s Day I told my husband that the kids are making this for me now, so help them. Here’s the recipe.
2. Right at bedtime the night before Mother’s day, I told my kids and my husband: Tomorrow is Mother’s Day so I am sleeping in. You do not get to wake me up before 8am. Since you will be putting the French Toast Casserole in the oven at 7am you will have something to do…. enjoy.
3. I booked the ‘High Tea’ (I actually ‘combo’ed that with a gift/outing with both my mother-in-law AND my step-mother… talk about multi-tasking) and got to sit and eat yummy things. Score. I didn’t hint and wait for him to book it. I just booked what I wanted. Last year I went to the movies, this year I might go for a massage. Just do it.

There it is.
That’s all it took.
They did everything I asked.
I got to do exactly what I wanted.
I had the best Mother’s Day ever.
I didn’t wait and hope that my hints would be figured out (they never are)….
I didn’t wait and see and then find that NOTHING happened and I was so disappointed and frustrated and sad.

I’ll admit that at first it felt a bit depressing to actually decide that I was just going to make my own best Mother’s Day happen, but once the day came and EVERYTHING was PERFECT…. it was totally worth it.

The kids were happy (they totally made breakfast!)… my husband was happy (he didn’t have to struggle to figure out what he should do since reading minds is not his forte) and for once, and most importantly…. I WAS HAPPY!!!

It felt great.

I used to fixate on the idea that they SHOULD know what to do and exactly what I want (if they really loved and appreciated me they would know!) but I realized that wasn’t the case.
I realized that they have limitations. The kids will be in charge once they’re older (they’re better at taking hints) and every partner is different (my husband will literally do anything I ask him to do, he just appreciates direction) so I’m cool with that.

I decided to enjoy feeling loved and appreciated (even though I had to help make that happen) and it worked.

It even showed them exactly what I loved and has helped to set the stage for every other year since…
I did buy ingredients yesterday, and that’s cool with me….

The post Don’t want another crappy Mother’s Day? Take charge! appeared first on Nutmeg Consulting.

A staple in many homes during the winter months, mistletoe for centuries has been considered a beautiful plant with mystical powers capable of absorbing bad spirits in its surroundings and transforming them into joy and luck. As you plan for the arrival of your new baby or settle into life as a new parent, let me tell you this – the power of the mistletoe is in your hands. Just like the mistletoe does at this time of year, you can also sense what is not serving you and transform that into good energy for you, your family, and the world your children will grow up in.

So what is it that is coming to you this holiday season? What energy are you absorbing and sending out, what are you noticing around you, and how would you like to transform that? Be honest with yourself. The magic of the mistletoe lies in its power to transform the bad into good, but for us to do that, we must first open our hearts up to how we are truly feeling, even if it’s painful. After all, nothing can be transformed if we don’t know where we are starting from. If that means that you suddenly break down crying at 1pm in a shawarma restaurant, so be it (although as I write this I realize that this may be more common than not for our pregnant readers!)! Your heart and your soul will thank you for that release.

Slowly you will be able to find the sweet spot between pain and hope and the tipping point between hopelessness and power, fear and love, suffering and peace, depression and meaning. That is where your true power lies, the power of the mistletoe. In here, in that pain, lies your ability to transform. Not only that, but your power to truly live with purpose and to be a source of light, of inspiration and of joy to your family and your community is found there. It is within the pain that you can find the love that is so desperately needed.

From there, I challenge you to take a leap. Small or big, it doesn’t matter. Just do something that is line with your heart, with the love you want to spread and the world you want to create for your kids. Take them on an adventure, volunteer with them, start a group or a movement, take up a hobby, be honest about feelings you’ve been withholding from others, or just anything that makes you come alive. In this holiday season, I will be taking this leap myself. I invite you to join me in this journey, and to give yourself and your family the gift of YOU. Oh, and of course, remember to hang up that mistletoe!

Warmest wishes this holiday season,
Emma

The post A Dash of Mistletoe Can Make the Holiday Season Brighter For the Whole Family! appeared first on Nutmeg Consulting.

1. Tie a string, ribbon or fishing line to the trunk of your tree. About one third from the top, and then tie it to a screw or nail attached to a door frame, window frame or plate rail. This will keep baby from pulling the tree over, or at least give you a chance to stop them before they pull it down! We have a plate rail in the corner where our tree usually sits, so we keep the screw in and its unnoticeable! One year, I even used the white string that was tied around the tree when we bought it! Recycling and laziness at it’s finest… (Look really closely in this pic and you can see the wire!)

2. Decorate the lower half of the tree with unbreakable, or soft decorations. Depending on the age of your baby. Avoid decorations with small bells, or googly eyes or small beads that can pose a choking hazard if pulled off. We have a bunch of different felt decorations from over the years (from Ikea!) that are cute for babies to look at but don’t pose a threat to them or risk being broken if dropped!

3. Cover electrical cords with duct tape or electrical tape. To keep little fingers safe. Taping together any junctions (where one cord plugs into another) can prevent little ones from pulling plug or wires out of extension cords. Also, tape loose wires along the baseboard to limit the chance that they will be pulled on or played with. We use white duct tape to match our baseboards (do it slowly and smoothly) so it is barely noticeable! Make sure any extension cords or wires are not worn or damaged.

4. Make sure any lights you have on the tree don’t heat up! Some older strings of holiday lights may heat up and can burn little hands, so make sure your lights are cool to the touch even when they are on for a while!

5. Help your curious baby or toddler to explore and look at the tree. Staying within arms reach as they look at the tree during the first few days may be necessary. Asking older kids to help decorate with non-breakable decorations, and teaching them to gently touch with ‘just touch with one finger’ will let them satisfy their curiousity without smashing things! Babies will often crawl up and try to grab at branches, so barriers of heavy boxes (wrapped to look like presents) can be a great idea if they just won’t stay away. If your baby doesn’t lose interest after a few days and just won’t keep away from pulling on the tree, then a baby gate system might be helpful too.

Try to remember the excitement and wonder your little ones must be feeling when they see such new and beautiful things in their home. They are curious and want to explore. Making things safe as possible will prevent accidents, and keep the holidays fun and enjoyable for everyone!

The post Top 5 Tips to Keep Your Baby (And Tree) Safe This Holiday Season! appeared first on Nutmeg Consulting.