Maybe you got scared that your baby wasn’t eating enough and you sent your partner out for some formula?

Maybe your doctor told you your baby was losing too much weight so you needed to start giving bottles? Did you know that you can still breastfeed?No matter what’s going on with you and your baby, there are always options if you want them. Even if it’s not going according to plan, if you want to keep breastfeeding, there is almost always a way to make things better. Even if you’ve started using, want to keep using, or need to keep using bottles, formula, pumping (or some combination) forever, YOU DON’T HAVE TO STOP BREASTFEEDING … even if you’ve entered the ‘Breastfeeding Grey Zone’.

What is the Grey Zone?

If we can agree that the usual definition of breastfeeding is the pretty traditional version where mom just sticks her baby on her breast and exclusively breastfeeds right from the source; then a mom enters the ‘Breastfeeding Grey Zone’ once she starts using any other method to feed her baby. Whether it’s using formula or donor milk, or if she has to start pumping or using tubes or bottles or cups, finger feeding or nipple shields, there are lots of things that can complicate breastfeeding. Even when these things are absolutely necessary, entering ‘The Breastfeeding Grey Zone’ can make things really hard.

Often, I meet new parents when they are in the thick of it. They are trying to latch their baby and nurse, they are pumping after feeds, AND they are giving supplements too. Their nipples hurt, they’re worried that their baby might be starving, and they haven’t slept in days. There’s a lot of crying, their crotch hurts and their boobs feel like they might explode, and they don’t know what to do next.

Don’t give up. Get help

Unfortunately, there is a belief right now that breastfeeding is supposed to be some ‘perfect’ experience, but THAT JUST DOESN’T ALWAYS HAPPEN!!! Telling mothers that it’s ‘so natural’ and that ‘babies will just crawl up and latch themselves on’ and know exactly what to do, is unfair and often, unhelpful. Sure it’s good to teach that breastfeeding is a normal thing that our bodies can do, but I disagree that it’s natural for most women right now. Did we all grow up in some magical village where all the topless nursing mothers sat around breastfeeding all day? Did we get to spend our lives watching babies feed, so we could learn about normal newborn behaviour, how to deal with common breastfeeding issues, and the best way to get a good latch? Um…. Nope.

Well, most of us in Canada and the U.S. didn’t anyway, and that’s a BIG part of the problem. It’s not ‘just natural’ right now. It takes work. It is a learned skill, and just like with any new skill, it takes practice, and we might not be ‘perfect’ at it right away. Be gentle with yourself during this process.

It seems like there are two extremes right now, when it comes to feeding a baby. Some providers don’t know how to help, so they just tell parents to start formula feeding and don’t offer support for breastfeeding at all! Even on Facebook mommy groups, the desire to eliminate guilt about ever using formula is making the phrase #fedisbest the first response when moms really just want some breastfeeding support. This is not enough…. (#supportisbest #informedisbest)

On the other hand, even well-meaning Doctors, Nurses and Lactation Consultants sometimes confuse ‘support’ with a tendency to issue blanket statements of what HAS to happen to make sure that breastfeeding works. I don’t think this is always helpful either! I don’t think being strict and judgmental about things is the best way to support new mothers and breastfeeding parents. If parents feel like they’ll be judged for ‘doing it wrong’ then they may be reluctant to ask for help, for fear that they will be criticized. Sometimes breastfeeding is messy…. And that’s ok. Things aren’t always just black or white, and that’s where the ‘Breastfeeding Grey Zone’ comes in. Support should meet you where you are in the journey, and offer help… not ultimatums.

It’s true that supporting mothers in the Breastfeeding Grey Zone can be hard. The knowledge that any of the things I mentioned can complicate the breastfeeding process, can make us worry enough to even tell mothers that these things shouldn’t be used at all! To me, it all depends on the goals of the individual family that I’m working with. If THEIR goal is exclusive breastfeeding, then yes, it’s important to teach about the risks and benefits of each method, and go from there. If they WANT to use these extras, then we still need a plan.

It’s important to me, that we make a distinction for those moms who JUST want to breastfeed their babies, because they usually need more support and are sometimes just not getting it.

The trend of telling a mother who is struggling with breastfeeding, that ‘fed is best’ is similar to saying that it doesn’t matter how we feed our babies! To many women who REALLY want to breastfeed, it IS important. What they really need is better support, and help to actually breastfeed.

Now hold on there for a second…. You know that I support moms who WANT to breastfeed in the Grey Zone too, right?? This is absolutely NOT a discussion of how a mother is any less of a breastfeeder or less of a good mother if she WANTS to use any of those things, like formula, pumping or bottles. LOTS of moms simply chose to do ‘a bit of both’, or maybe they don’t want to breastfeed at all. As long as that’s because they WANT to, (and not because they are doing it due to lack of proper breastfeeding support) then that’s just fine.

The important thing to know, if you’re in the middle of Breastfeeding in the Grey Zone is that some mothers sometimes NEED to use these things on a temporary basis and it’s still ok… you don’t have to stop breastfeeding! You can end up needing these things if baby is sleepy, can’t latch, has a tongue tie, you had a traumatic birth, you are in pain, you have postpartum depression, you adopted your baby, had a surrogate, you had breast surgery, you weren’t taught about normal newborn feeding behaviour, you didn’t pump/express when it might have helped, you were told to give a bottle and just needed your baby to eat, and you didn’t know what to do next!! Not everyone can do it, but if YOU still want to breastfeed, there is almost always a way to keep going. It may not be ‘perfect’, but YES, you can still breastfeed.

I am a Private Practice Lactation Consultant, NICU Nurse and Doula who has worked with parents and babies for almost 20 years, and I have breastfed my three children (#3 is still going!) so I have seen a lot of breastfeeding in my day. Breastfeeding doesn’t have to be perfect to still ‘count’. I see so many mothers who are struggling in the first few weeks and they think they might have missed their chance. It’s not too late. Get help as soon as possible. Find someone who supports you and helps you reach YOUR goals.

If it is important to you, then is important to me. If you want to keep breastfeeding, don’t give up.

The post Are You “Breastfeeding In The Grey Zone”? appeared first on Nutmeg Consulting.

Whatever your breastfeeding story, it is very common to have at least a few struggles with breastfeeding especially in the first week. Whether it’s a painful latch, a sleepy baby, constant crying or someone telling you that baby isn’t getting enough, there are lots of challenges you might encounter. Most of us didn’t grow up in a village where all the mothers were topless and sat around a fire breastfeeding all day. If we had, more of us would find breastfeeding natural, instinctive and easy….but for many, it’s not. It’s something you need practice, help, and time to get good at. Also, there are some great tricks that can make a big difference if you know about them, so that’s where I come in!

Now Presenting: The top 4 things that will help you keep breastfeeding, even when things aren’t quite perfect at the start…..

1. Learn about Hand Expression

If there is ANY reason a baby is having trouble breastfeeding in the first few days after birth, hand express your colostrum every 2-3 hours. You might only get a few drops but it signals your body that you’re still ‘IN’ for becoming a breastfeeder and that you would like to request a great milk supply. We can figure a lot of things out later about a deep latch, nipple comfort and excess weight loss if your body is reminded to continue making milk. Check out a great Hand Expression video here

2. Spoons are made for babies too!

If your baby isn’t able to get colostrum out of your breast the ‘usual’ way because he’s tongue-tied, sleepy, it hurts you or he just can’t latch, then use a spoon! First, read #1 and watch that video. Now hand express right into a spoon & give it to the baby! Spoons are easy to use, hold small amounts (which is usually all newborns need anyway….seriously!) and you can express your thick colostrum right into it so you don’t lose your 3 precious drops in the pump valve thingy!

3. Take off your shirt and hold your naked baby.

This one seems simple and obvious once you learn about how much ‘skin-to-skin holding’ can improve breastfeeding outcomes. Most parents however, think they’re supposed to immediately put their new baby in all the cute outfits and hats they’ve had washed and waiting for this moment…. I don’t blame you, that outfit IS super cute, BUT if your baby is having trouble waking up, calming down, latching or is cold, I promise that the science here is right. Mama’s chest is the place to be. Put your feet up, get comfy and hold your baby.

4. Keep trying, and get help.

Ask for help, ask for more help, then if you still need help, find different help…and CALL ME! Breastfeeding takes practice. Learning about a few ‘normal’ things can make a big difference in your confidence too.

• Shaping your breast the SAME direction as the baby’s mouth will help him get a deeper latch
• The tiny amount of colostrum that babies actually need
• That weight loss in the first week is NORMAL (get help if it’s more than 10-12%) because of ‘water weight’
• That breastfed babies need to SUCK! (That’s what brings your milk in so don’t expect to sleep longer than an hour or two in a row for a while!)

The sooner you find help the better, but even if things aren’t perfect right from the start, try these things and your breastfeeding career really can continue almost always, if you are a bit stubborn, a bit knowledgeable and just a little bit lucky.

The post TOP 4 Things You Can Do if Breastfeeding Your Newborn Just Isn’t Working… appeared first on Nutmeg Consulting.